specialbrewrants

The Imminent Assault on our Super Lagers

Super Lagers of 8.0% abv and over provide a welcome release to the unemployed from their stressful lives at an affordable price. For 99p to about £1.50 the feckless can purchase their entire government recommended alcohol ration for the day.

Now the BBC and the Sun, both organs of the state, have begun the campaign to outlaw these brews on the flawed basis that they are "dangerous to our health".

The BBC ran a series showing how the lives of Street Drinkers were blighted by the easy availability of the cheap hit from a Super Lager. I say that Super Lager enhances their lives by hiding from them the true extent of their depravity.

The Sun had a story on page 14 about how Tennants were going to reduce the size of their can from 500ml to 440ml in a responsible attempt to lessen the consumption of their Jimmie fuel. Well its a bit of a no brainer because I think even the most addled tramp is going to work out that he will just have to drink more cans.

Both these are pre-cursors, the warm up men, to the government's main show. It will shortly announce a punitive tax on these wonderful aids to relaxation.

Do we want to see the death of these famous all English Brands in another nanny state tells us what's best for us.

Super Tennants aka "Electric Soup"
Carlsberg Special Brew aka "Spec" or "Carlie Grenades"
Force Ten - the world's first beer to achieve 10% ABV.
White Lightening - you can use the empty plastic bottle as a pillow.
Turbo - turbocharge your social life with this wonderful Cider.
Graphite - or should that be Grafight
SKOL 1080 - Now renamed super strength and advertised by Hagar the Horrible.

And they will die. Where's Skoal Bandits today for instance after the government campaign?

If the government took this attitude to Real Ale or Whiskeys there would be an outcry. It is picking on the Super Lager sector of the market because (for some reason) it lacks the articulacy to respond to the government's attack.

posted by gruad @ 8:45 pm