specialbrewrants

Brian Epstein 1934-2005

The Liverpool Echo mourns the death of Liverpool's most famous son: Brian Epstein Record Entrepreneur, Founder of OUT! and Gay Rights activist.

Echo correspondent, Richard Starkey, records a discussion at his wake in Liverpool with his old associate John Lennon. Both Richard and John were active in the Liverpool beat scene which, for Brian, was the beginning of his road to the big time.

Richard Starkey (RS) : These sausage rolls are stale.

John Lennon (JL) : Brian would never have allowed that to happen.

RS: He was a great man.

JL: He was a great airline.

RS: OUT! is one of the biggest airlines in the world. Few knew at the time he was making a statement.

JL: He had guts, but he never had mine.

RS: I think he fancied the bass player. You were a bit rough for his taste.

JL: Air Stewards all over the gay world can be thankful he made their job acceptable.

RS: You're not jealous of Paul.

JL: Brian only wanted the rough.

RS: You're as rough as they come. I don't think a man who founded NEMS chain of stores and an airline of his own would want to deal with the lack of class you were.

JL: If there's anyone lacking class its you, you hairy arsed troll.

RS: Now, now, I never said I fancied him. Who was that pretty man on the bass guitar.

JL: You're not going to believe me: Paul McCartney.

RS: No, not, Paul off morning TV.

JL: You played with us one night when Pete was seeing some bird.

RS: Did I?

JL: Arseholed that night you were. Mind you we all were.

RS: Brian would have liked it us all arseholed.

JL: Your jokes are as sh*t as your drumming.

RS: I'll have you know I was in a happening band.

JL: What with Rory and the Stormtroopers.

RS: No my kids the Starrs. When they were 16 and 17 they played the guitar and they couldn't find a drummer. So they approached me. I lasted 30 gigs until they got an agent. He told them get rid of the old guy.

JL: Did you go quietly?

RS: Yes and my boys, God bless them said they would n't go on without me, but I told them about Rory and how you only get one chance.

JL: So what happened?

RS: One's an accountant and one's a journalist.

JL: Journalist are scum.

RS: A lot better than Milkmen.

JL: The housewifes didn't think so. Besides I had 3 daughters to feed: the wife had had triplets.

RS: Can't have been yours: your sperm was too pissed to swim straight.

JL: That was the problem. It wasn't the best job to get after I finished with the Beatles, a milkman. Too much time on my hand. I could drink with the posties in the afternoon and in the morning there was too much of it about.

RS: Not surprised Cynthia left you. Surprised she stuck around to 77. John, really she was a lovely girl.

JL: We get on right now. And me and Faith, Hope and Charity get on just fine...


RS: You didnt call them that?

JL: Jenna, Melanie and Natasha actually. They hated me. It was only about 10 years ago that they thought I'd sobered up enough to see their kids. And I agree with them because they had seen me battering their mother.

RS: It only took you 10 years to come round. People say it was more than just alcohol.

JL: I'm a good Catholic boy. It was nothing more than the sweet nectar of Alcohol. Still I ended up in rehab fighting for my life and I've been a good boy ever since.

RS: Didn't you meet your wife there?

JL: Is this an interview or do you have a memory like a sieve? John Lennon, picture book writer would not have been born if it was not for her. And she does the pictures.

RS: What happened to that lad who could play guitar.

JL: After I had to go on the Milk round the Beatles continued on as a three piece for about 2 gigs but Mr Epstein insisted they still wore the suits.

RS: When the Rolling Stones were number one?

JL: It went to a 2 piece after that. mcartney's parents stepped in after that to spare him from Rock and Roll and he got a place in college studying law.


RS: But that was not the end of his musical aspirations.

Together: Opportunity Knocks!

JL: He made the final. That was a catchy song. I can't remember but it was a good tune...

RS: You remember the winner though.


Together: "Billy don't be a hero."

JL: Didn't stop him though. The girlies always liked him and the publicity never did him any harm. Liverpool City councillor, aged 31.

RS: ...the Permatan Bastard!

JL: Sir Permatan Bastard, it looks like if Tony has his way.


RS: I asked you what happened to George!

JL: Yes that bloke could play the guitar. Me, I just used to play what I felt. I'd move my hand when it felt right, but that kid he knew all the names of the notes.

RS: I heard he went to London and learnt to read music. He was big on all the hits as a session man but never in the limelight.

JL: I'd have been in the limelight. As it was it was the early morning light. Things were looking good for our George and then he got religion.

RS: Never sent you a post card either.

JL: Don't know if guru George is alive or dead, but good luck if he is.

RS: I hear someone else is back on the scene.

JL: The John Lennon live at the Red Lion on Sunday nights is what you are talking about might I guess?

RS: I saw the chalked board though I did not venture in.

JL: Its me, the guitar and a cubase backing track to 70's. 80's, 90's hits.

RS: Do any of the old Beatles stuff?

JL: I did one, but they all used it as an excuse to go to the toilet.

RS: Need a drummer.

JL: There's no room for you lad. Anyway Cubase does all that and its to time. Anyway thought we were talking about Brian.

RS: So we were. I hear you were pretty close to getting a recording contract.

JL: We were as close as any other band that's not good enough to make it.

RS: Not one of Brian's success stories then?

JL: He tried every record company under the sun. We put all our chips on EMI. He said there was a producer who would appreciate the musicality of the Beatles.

RS: What happened?

JL: Ill on the day. Never listened to the tape after that. Had better things to do.

RS: Don't you wonder WHAT IF?

JL: Not really.

posted by gruad @ 10:48 pm